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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in minor capacities. I thought recording a clip now and then would be fun for her. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She needs to honor Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?